A lot of the time I resort to paraphrasing my work and not making clear my evidence. I was told that the introduction was a bit rough, while it tried to set up the essay, there would be a bit of confusion for any newcomer that tried to read my essay. Terms that they wouldn’t completely understand. Throughout my essay though, my sources are limited. They don’t have a strong and direct voice in the paper. My focus also is usually universal, which can be a good thing but I never focus my work in or provide concrete examples or expand on my thinking through the examples I do provide.
My definition of terms and there uses were considered good. This led to my solid argument, which also led to my conclusion that was connected decently to the whole of my essay. I leave the essay with a lot more questions than answers. This could be considered a weakness but as I intended for that to be the result, since that would possibly lead a curious passerby to further investigate and create there own claims, this generation of questions is a pro.
The best thing to do to improve in my work for the future would be to work on my weaknesses so that they can further my arguments that I try to make in essays in the future. I have a lot of ideas that I try to incorporate into my paper, it would be helpful to focus more on one or two ideas and find solid evidence base for it, for future papers.
The best way to show someone how to speak and communicate is to start off with the basics. In Problem 23, a teacher begins by dictating a short sentence, “I love the puppy.” Students are then expected to write down the sentence with the correct spelling. She adds on to the writing experience by asking for all the students to write down an additional 7 spelling words. She then begins an interactive activity of correcting all the words and having the students correct each other. This is a good opportunity for the students to practice their words as well as practice play with others. Later on she introduced a book for the group to possibly one day read, but for today their job was to translate images into words and try to figure out the story.
There were some conflicts in this program though. One girl continued to try to jump ahead. She would see patterns in the words and that would cause her to go to the next word before anyone else. While her eagerness and confidence could be admirable, the child does not yet have a solid grasp on language well enough to go alone. This is what led to her having two words incorrect. Part of her job right now is to listen and learn. Her jumping ahead also harms the other children’s learning, it takes time from the teacher and then repeated instruction is needed.
In the passage, there are points where the teacher’s frustration can easily be seen. The troublemaker girl is excited at the book reading, and the teacher’s tired response of “Well, just calm down” could be the response of a bored teacher who’s done this activity countless times in the past. Her repeated attempts to tell the girl to calm down lead a reader to believe she is frustrated by a girl who never listens.
Looking at the child’s response to the teacher, an argument for their initial meeting and social standings with each other could be the cause of her disobedience. The teacher likely made the mistake of trying to be social and placating in the past, become a friend figure rather than the teacher. This can cause a conflict when she tries to teach concepts to the children, especially to troublemakers, as they don’t feel the need to listen closely or to stay engaged.
Discourses. For what feels like a hundred times now. Discourses are the doing-saying-believing combinations that a person/group of people practice. It incorporates the language, communication, and culture. The way and how a person talks.
I, like everyone else, have a set of discourses that I’m fluent in. But the one that I think that would be the most entertaining to introduce a newcomer to would be my discourse as a ceramist. Since I’m fairly new to this as well, yet thanks to years of interaction with art and actual master in the area, I’ve submerged myself into the art.
Honestly, if you don’t know the terms, you’ll already be lost. The movements and hand placements. Holding yourself steady and not budging against the clay. Ceramists for the most part, especially when you make your own glazes just have to accept that they won’t know for sure what the piece will look like until after it’s been fired. And fired. And sometimes fired a third time. Or if the piece will even survive. You accept the unknowing.
The feel of the clay is something else too. When it’s too wet or too dry. It’s things that you learn by doing and that just explaining to an outsider, you’d struggle to understand.
Some interesting points from Gee’s Building Things through Language:
“It is as if you could build a building by simply speaking the words” (31)
His ideas of social groups and practices, how they compliment each other (31)
The Seven Building Tasks of Language (32-41):
Sign Systems and Knowledge
This project started back at the begining of the year when English 122 did. From there we learned what discourse was, who Delpit and Brandt would be to us, and this semester we wrapped up our masters with Alexander. This multi-month project has led to here. The end. After writing our own stories, we went back and analyzed our peers and compared them with the thoughts of our masters and ourselves.
In the essays, we were told to create layered paragraphs that would include thoughts from various authors. That allows for the essay itself to become more complex than it would be if all the voices we’ve learned from spoke separately. Sources are an essential piece of essays that can’t be overlooked. You must integrate them as well as cite who’s information it is that you’re taking.
The interesting thing about this project is seeing how similar some of the stories can be. Literacy is the same for most of the English 122 classes. There are those who struggled with it, those who thrived, those who succeeded as well as those who failed. Alexander was able to divide these stories into 8 simple categories. I believe for the sample that we were able to look at, the categories could have been simplified even further.
There is likely a lot more that I could have done for this process, thoughts that were never written and ideas that were never said. I can look back and see how I failed to make connections to make my piece stronger. But I can also recognize that I’m satisfied with how my essay turned out.